


Misa Amane is Going to be Okay

by orphan_account



Category: Death Note
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-24
Updated: 2013-11-24
Packaged: 2018-01-02 12:47:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1056943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of things that Misa Amane is and is not, and how she becomes the thing that is okay. Slight timeline fiddling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Misa Amane is Going to be Okay

Misa Amane is okay, or at least she tells the policemen she is, because it's easier than having to answer more questions. She doesn't want to answer questions: she wants to be given time to lick her wounds and recover, but Misa never gets what she wants, so why should she get it now?

"Please," she begs them, "just leave, just... just let me be alone, please. Take their bodies, I don't care, just leave me alone."

The policemen don't listen to her and continue turning the house inside out just like the man who killed her parents had just done. She's 18, she's legally an adult. Her childlike behavior was not a sign saying 'please walk all over me'.

"Please," she says again, "I don't want to be stuck in here with a bunch of policemen who could attack me at any moment. Either you get out or you let me leave."

"We can't let a minor leave a crime scene alone," says the burliest policeman, the one who is currently examining two dead bodies.

"I'm fairly sure that isn't a law! And I'm not a minor anyway, I'm eighteen. Now let me leave, or leave yourselves."

The policeman looks at her body in a different way now. "You're eighteen? So you're legal?"

She crosses her arms over herself, wishing her clothing would be far less revealing. "All the perverts ask that. I'm leaving."

Misa doesn't really think about where she is going to go, but she isn't really thinking about anything right now. If she starts thinking, her thoughts might wander to the fact her parents have just been murdered, and she knows she cannot deal with that right now. She might never be able to deal with thinking about it. Instead, she thinks about how the snow has just started to fall, little white specks that melt as soon as they touch her. She kills everything she touches. Misa Amane is deadly, she tells herself, and it is best if she never touches anyone again in case they die like her parents. No, she can't think about that, so she doesn't, and so she walks numbly down the road, hugging her chest tightly.

Once she reaches a busy road she briefly considers walking straight into it. Misa looks at the glow of car headlights reflected in the delicate dancing of the snowflakes and watches how the brilliant light seems to be calling for her.

Misa does not walk into the road. She takes out her phone and calls her girlfriend.

"Takada?" she blurts out, before she's even sure she's picked up the phone. "My parents have just been killed and I need somewhere to stay. Can I sleep at yours for a little while?" She doesn't try to think about what she's saying; she just lets the words spill out. If she thinks, her mind will be consumed by thinking.

"What?" There is tiredness in Takada's voice - Misa realises it is not long past midnight.

"A robber broke into our house. Killed my parents. I don't want to be there, and I don't want to think about it."

"You... want me to make you stop thinking about it?"

Though it probably isn't what Takada wants, Misa's mind flits straight to sex. "No. No, not that! Please, no, I just - I can't be at home without thinking of them and oh my god, they're dead -" Tears are threatening to spill out of her eyes and ugly weeping is trying to escape her throat. She blinks away the tears and swallows the sobs. If there is one thing Misa Amane is, that thing is strong.

"I don't have a spare bed, but you can sleep on the couch if you need to. You've got my address, right?" Takada's voice is totally businesslike, as if her girlfriend hasn't suddenly become an orphan. It is a refreshing normality.

"I'll be there soon," Misa promises, and she hangs up. Her breathing is oddly erratic and she keeps sniffling. She supposes she must be crying. She takes a moment to gather herself, then blinks upwards into the sky and lets snowflakes settle on her nose and on her black hair. When the urge to sob has subsided, Misa starts the walk to Takada's apartment. The chill is sobering, and by the time she is at Takada's doorstep, her emotions are all frozen up again.

She collapses into her girlfriend's arms, but they are too warm and they threaten to thaw her feelings, so she wrenches herself free.

"Misa? Are you okay?" Takada looks almost startled. Almost. Takada doesn't really show emotions much - Misa wishes she could be more like that.

She isn't quite sure how to answer that without melting, so she just shrugs. "Where's the spare bed? I'm tired."

"Do you want to share? That bed's pretty cold."

"No. I want to be cold."

"Okay..." Takada rubs her eyes. "I'm going to go sleep."

"Me too."

Misa does not sleep. If she sleeps, she might start thinking of her parents, and that might make her come apart. So she thinks about the coarse blanket rubbing against her skin; she thinks about the darkness that lurks in the corners of this sparsely furnished room; she thinks about the snow still falling outside in thick sheets; she thinks about how her eyes are really starting to hurt, and how her stomach feels empty, and how her mind feels much emptier. Avoiding a certain subject can make you think about it more: her parents are still alive in her head, and they tell her that they are still alive, and she knows they are lying to try and make her happy, just like they always have.

Misa Amane is not gullible.


End file.
